Tis' The Seasons for New Beginnings

November 2011::
Well the day has come!  After many months of travels, events, laughs, cries, triumphs, and the constant ebb and flow of loneliness vs independence, the time has come where we can prepare for the arrival of Bryan from Afghanistan.  It has been a long road that I'm sure we will look back on and only see where it has made us a stronger family.  Not everyone can manage the livelihood of a being a part of a military family, I know that I have struggled.  For some, it is an even longer road- some families are separated for a year or longer.  Even the occasional two months is difficult, especially when there are children involved and no immediate family around for support.  I have a lot of respect for the families that make this a long-term lifestyle.  I'm not sure what is in our future, but I suppose I can only take it one day at a time, that is how I survived the last 190 days.
Bryan came home on Sunday, November 13.  It was an emotional homecoming.  His family and my mom were at the airport to welcome him home.  Sign and all.  After nearly five days of traveling, he was happy to be back in the US and reunited with his family.  We all went out for Pizza and then headed back South to Roseburg.  I thought that it was going to be more awkward between the two of us, but we kinda just started up from where we left off.  Finn was a little reluctant at first with Bryan, but took to him by that evening.  Although i despised Skype most of the time, I have to give it credit for helping with Finn.  I think that the everyday "interaction" with Bryan helped Finn remember his voice and maybe even his face.
Upon the return of Bryan, life took on a whole new fast-track approach.  The weekend following his return, we packed up my Little apartment and back tracked up to washington to move in and begin some serious work on the house.   Officially, we moved in Thanksgiving weekend- that's when we brought Finn up.  Saying goodbye to Roseburg, was both exciting and sad.  I was obviously excited, because saying goodbye meant that Bryan was home and it was time to start our new chapter in our new-old home; but saying goodbye was emotional.  Roseburg is a beautiful little city with amazing people and there is no place different that i would have chosen to spend my time.  The summer was warm and mild, I made new friends and Karyl and I became best friends- id say.  Finn was a happy boy and we got to experience the best of the Northwest.
Now that Bryan is home, all is good in the world again.  We still have a long way to go- we are still working on sharing parental duties and developing a routine with Finn.  We are in the process of getting Finn established with new physicains and therapists; I am preparing for nursing school starting January and also getting ready for Bryan to leave again at the new year.  He is leaving for Altus, Ok for two and a half months for training and then he'll be home ;-)  for awhile- i hope.  Life is always changing and there are always new obstacles to face.  Change is not aways fun, but it keeps things interesting.  Six months ago, with the news that Bryan was deploying and the decision to move to Oregon and the unknown ahead of us, we felt that this was all part of Gods plan.  There were times where i was angry and didn't understand, but through it all I believe that we held strong in our faith and felt that we were on the right path.  I feel blessed to have Bryan return home safe and thank God for all that he provided us and myself.  I was emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually cared for.  We look forward now to the the next chapter in our lives and all that it will hold.  I think its going to be another busy year and hopefully full of many more blessings and challenges to be thankful for.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in the series- House Renovation 2011/2012.

The Clune Clan ;-)

No Tricks, Only Treats!

October 2011::
A new month, a new outlook, and new challenges...
Following September, Id say I was ready for some downtime.  We were on the final countdown now, only One. More. Month.  I can do this...
Although there was still alot of weekend traveling and physical therapy appointments three days a week, we did get some downtime to have fun and get into the fall spirit.

Finn and the Giant Pumpkins

Taking a break from shopping with mommy

We headed up to Portland several times and also made a trip to the house in Washington where a whole new chapter would begin in November.  Following Bryan's return from his deployment, we were due to PCS to McChord in Washington.  We have owned a house in Lacey For the past 5 years or so and have been renting it out.  We are planning to return to the house and do some renovating.  As I said, a whole new story to be told ;-)

Target: Trying on Hats

Houdini himself: escaping restraints

Off to the Pumpkin Patch at Kruse's Farms in Roseburg, Or.  Too many good pictures to pick from, but here is a taste of the festivities.

We got us  a good one

Mini John Deere

Surveying the patch for any other takers

Found a good one...

always making funny faces

so observant and curious

Trying out his costume

Crazy hair at therapy

Halloween!!  Made it to the end of another month.   I had the opportunity to celebrate Halloween a bit early and went camping with my Brother and his girlfriend.  We went to Scotts Mills, Or; a camp where the had it all decked out as a zombie wasteland.  My brother had rented a yurt, which we spent the night in after an evening of paintball- attacking Zombies and Zip lining.  It was a super fun spontaneous night.  The following day I was back at being mommy and dressed up and took the little one trick or treating for the first time.  It was a beautiful, clear chilly evening.  Finn and I trolleyed the neighborhood costumed as Miss Muffet and the Spider who sat beside her.  Probably my favourite costume! 

Our Infamous Yurt!

Decorating Finn's Wagon

Trick or Treating

He makes a pretty cute spider ;-)

Six months have nearly passed and the holidays have officially began and we are now just excited and looking forward to welcoming Bryan home.  Tis' the seasons to be with family and start new beginnings.

Time to Hike Up the Big Girl Panties.

September 2011::

This was a month of traveling, recuperation and anticipation.  I started the month with a fun filled weekend at the Dave Mathews Concert at the Gorge, Wa (Thanks to the hubby- my birthday present;-))  I spent three days there with the Rodgersons and the weather was warm, and sunny and an all around good vibe.

D, Beau, and I Taking it all in...

Two Fav people!

Bri and I Stage Left

All the people!

Derek enjoying some good camping food

Finn was at Nana and Papas keeping busy...

Smiling...

Climbing...

Playing with Kitty...

Corralling Doggies...

He had a good time too ;-)

The following weekend, I embarked back North up to Portland to participate in the 9/11/2011 Warrior Dash.  It was Awesome!  A 3 mile obstacle course that included: rope climbs, wading in waist-deep water, jumping over fire, the works!  I would definitely recommend it to anyone and will be doing it again!

Finn sporting my Warrior hat ;-)

Finn is now 15 months old and is getting to be quite mobile and curious...

Caught in the Act!

September 17:: Astoria bound to be bridesmaid-worthy at Kelle Ohalloran-Alward's Wedding.  It was beautiful and Cold!

Bachelorette Party

Beautiful Bride

The following weekend: Back up to Astoria, Cannon Beach for Shannon and Liz (soon to be Clune's) wedding.  It was also beautiful and cold (but warmer than the previous weekend).

Picture with the Handsome Couple

Family picture

A busy and eventful month was a great way to sign off September.  Except we still had a lingering Dr appt. scheduled for Finn.  After much hesitance, waiting and denial the time had come to where we would take Finn to a Developmental Specialist at OHSU in Eugene, Or.  He was nearly 16 months old and was showing some developmental and speech delays.  We had been seeing a Physical therapist since June and she had been urging me to see a specialist, so after much hesitation and the anxiety of the unknown, I agreed and we went.   Finn saw a round of therapists and doctors and was observed and assessed via subjective tests, with the end result being that he was officially diagnosed with Ataxia; a movement disorder that is also a form of Cerebral Palsy.  This news was hard to take, overwhelming and daunting.  I thought to myself, "why?"  I had done everything right.  My perfect child?  How?  What do I do now?  How can I fix him?  Unfortunately, He is not to be "fixed," Just worked on ;-) Basically, physical, speech and occupational therapy is the best medicine for him; and of course love and support.  Although we are now faced with a lifetime of uncertainty of how his ataxia will result in the future, we are certain that we love him for all that he is and that he is a determined, strong, and smart little boy.  He will surely use his abilities to his success and will use his smarts to adapt to his disabilities.  Although I have experienced grief, anger, frustration, and resentment;  I know that God delivered this child to us knowing that we were going to be the best parents for him and that he would be the best child for us.  I am so blessed to have Finn in my life; maybe he'll teach me something one day.

Aloha! We're Halfway There!

August 2011::
With the summer in full swing, and a great vacation planned at the end of the month, we have made it to the halfway point!  Three months from August 12th we will get to reunite with Bryan!  A thought crosses my mind.... that's still a whole season away.  Ugh.  Go away stupid contradicting thoughts!!!

Id have to say this was the hardest month of all.  Unfortunately, with all of the busy fun that Finn and I were having and doing, my mind was in a very dark place most of the time.  I was emotionally, mentally, and physically drained, stressed and lonely.  Loneliness was the biggest culprit here.  As I am writing this after the fact, It is hard to recall some of the days- good or bad- because I kinda blanked them out...
The main reason why I am choosing to recall and write about not only the good but the bad as well is because I Do want to remember this journey; and I am not going to lie to myself or anyone else and pretend that everything was perfectly great.  The truth for those of us who experience involuntary separations from our spouses is that there are high times and sometimes really low times.  I am human along with everyone else, and I too experience short comings.   This has Not and will never be an easy task.  With that said, August was the hardest, most challenging month.

Okay, Now that that is out of the way, we can move on to the highlights of the month.  KAUAI!!
 Finn and I, the Clune's, Nana and Papa Clune and the Benfield's went on a jet plane to vacation and spend a week in the beautiful island of Kauai, HI.  We snorkeled, sunbathed, read books, frolicked in the sand, ate pineapple and coconut to our little hearts' desire, chased the elusive wild chickens and roosters that shared our beachfront haven, hiked, went sight-seeing and went zip lining!!  Did i forget anything.... Oh ya and drank several tropical concoctions ;-)  The pictures speak louder than words so enjoy and imagine yourself there... what would you do?

Our backyard ;-)

Playing in the sand with Papa

Beautiful Sunset at Tunnels Beach

Following the splendor that we experienced in Hawaii, we were on our way to September and back to the real world.  The return of school buses, schedules and fall colors meant that some impending decisions had to be made regarding Finns health...

Gaining Independence

July 2011::

July, the month of summer BBQs, music festivals, camping and holidays.  One of my favourite holidays- Independence Day.  I love spending the day at some form of body of water, BBQ'ing (with our own little tradition being a shrimp boil), and then of course fireworks!!  In the Northwest you can do the good ones-  the sparkly ones that go high in the air!  Things were a little different this year, but still great.  We BBQ'd with family and friends, and it was beautiful weather.  Finn and I retired early into the evening- he was D.O.N.E if you know what I mean.  I believe I snuggled up on the couch with a nice glass of wine and watched True Grit, a true ladies night.  HA. 

Happy 4th!

Before: Jody and I cleaning the pool 

After:  Our hard work payed off.  Glorious.

Finny and the baby pool, must have been cold.  

Tuesdays in July:  We spent several Tuesdays nights at Music at the Halfshell in Stewart Park.  Every week, a different band would perform and the best part- It was free, and there was ice cream available! 

Summer, music, and wine...

Finn holding down the Fort. HaHa

The Grandparents ;-)

July 11th:
I went out of my comfort zone and did something new and fun.  I had some photography done of me; it was a little surprise for Bryan.

July 14th:  A beautiful day to go to the park.

My Birthday was on the 22nd of this month, and I had a fun ladies luncheon with some friends at The Lighthouse Cafe in Sutherlin.  I ordered a yummy, vegan (its all vegan) "Ham and Cheese" sandwich.  It was kinda different but very good and we had a great time.

The real highlight of the weekend was my Self Defense and Gun Safety class!  We have guns in the house, so I thought it would be smart to actually learn how to safely use them and also the laws that coerce with gun use.  It was AWESOME!  The instructor was very informative and somewhat humorous.  I would recommend him to anyone, even those that have gun experience, because I bet he has more.   We went out to some random rock quarry and got to take out some frustration on some unsuspecting rocks and people shaped targets.  I must say, I am quite the sharp-shooter, so nobody better mess with me!

a funny little side note- The days leading up to my impending birthday and gun class, I notice my DL and military ID are expired; so rather than being a 'normal' citizen and getting my DL renewed, I decided to take  a random day trip to the coast to get my military ID renewed (in OR and WA if you have a current government ID, you do not need to renew expired DL) all because I didn't want to get a new DL.  I really like my DL picture.  Yes, I am serious.  I really like my picture, people...
Besides, who likes standing in line at the DMV anyways and I had to so something.  They probably wouldn't have let me shoot guns without some form of ID!! 

Finn really is cruising around now and honing his crawling skills.

Okay, back to the story at hand... July. 
Because I am so good at keeping busy and stressing myself out, I made a last minute decision to register for two online classes that would go towards my nursing school application come winter 2012.  They say, that when the husband leaves that it is best to keep busy.  But that is a catch 22, because the more busy you are, the more stressed you are.  But I took the advice and that is just what I intended to do.  Away I went and got my classes started and we were on our way to August. 

With August just around the corner and an upcoming vacation to Kauai to look forward too, were nearing the half way point.  Though life has been a roller coaster over the last two months, Finn and I were getting along and we were figuring things out one day at at time.

This month was truly the month where I was gaining My independence....